


Life sucks, then you die

by TheNamesSid (TheNamesNotImportant)



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, But also, Gen, Not Serious, One Shot, Temporary Character Death, i take jokes too far so it is kinda honest and mellow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22623136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNamesNotImportant/pseuds/TheNamesSid
Summary: And if you're a certain Witcher's horse, that's not the end.Edit 15.5.20: Fixed spacing
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	Life sucks, then you die

She watched the forest around them carefully. She knew it was here, but she couldn’t see where. The monster was hiding somewhere nearby. Geralt was alert on her back, but his mostly human field of view didn’t span nearly as far as her horse eyes. The perks of being a prey animal. Geralt drew his silver sword.

“I know you’re here, why don’t you come out and fight me,” he called out to the woods. There was silence.

“Alright, where are you,” he muttered. She felt him nudge her forward, toward a steep bank so high it was really more a cliff.

‘Are you sure about that, if we fell down we could get seriously injured.’ She stamped a hoof. He squeezed her sides, firmly this time.

She moved forward slowly. ‘Okay, but it’s your fault if we die.’

There was a stream rushing past at the bottom of the incline, swollen from recent rains. Geralt shifted on her back, leaning over to look below. She heard a sound, distinct from the water.

‘Over there, Geralt! Other side!’ She saw it first. The creature rushed forward with startling speed. She flinched out of instinct and stepped back. A mistake the monster wanted. Geralt noticed, but only too late.

‘Oh this is going to hurt,’ she thought, as the earth gave way beneath her hooves. 

‘’  
The stables were noisy with the sound of people and other animals. It smelled profusely despite the stable hands who claimed to do “hard work worthy of good pay.” Yeah, right.

This was not Roach’s first choice, not by a long shot. The other horses were either mindless or uninteresting, except for the one who called himself “Pegasus”, but as his name would suggest he happened to be full of himself. He was familiar, but Roach had met so many other horse’s in her time.

“Hey newbie, why don’tcha tend this one.” A couple of hands started picking on the new help, shoving him toward her stall. He stumbled forward but put on a brave face. They stood back and snickered.

A bearded man leaned in the door. “Watch yourself around that stallion, boy! He’s like to kill you with a kick.” The boy’s face faltered.

Oh yeah, that was just part of why this wasn’t her first pick. This body was a stallion. Roach didn’t mind being a stallion, per se, but after the one time she was made into a gelding, she swore to never let herself be a stallion again unless she absolutely had to. Hurt like a werewolf’s bite. Not that gestation had been much better the few times it had happened. That had been awful for everyone.

“H-uh? So what, I’m not. Not scared.”

‘Oh come on kid, you’re not fooling anyone.’ She almost felt pity for this kid’s gullibility. Almost. She waited for him to get close. When he straddled the fence, prepared to drop down into the stall, she lunged forward with ears pinned and teeth bared.

The boy shrieked and fell backwards. He hit the ground with a thud and the other two took off. He promptly followed suit. She snorted, the closest she could get to chuckle. She had been a bit cruel, but it was fun. She had to entertain herself somehow until Geralt found her.

‘’  
It took him two months. Two. _Months._ This was a new record for Geralt. The longest she had ever been left before was three weeks, and that was under extenuating circumstances. Her only entertainment had become boring; Pegasus leaving with a hooded figure less than a week into her stay, and the boy quickly becoming a nuisance. She had to live up to the reputation of the vicious stallion her new body had been before. On more than one occasion, some adventuring fool had tried to buy her. She’d scared off the first two with the same old act, but the last one didn’t give up as easy. She had actually been driven to kick their shoulder in.

Finally, on some dreary day where everyone was shivering, Geralt appeared, inspecting the horses with his usual harsh face. The bearded man from the first day accompanied him.

‘Took you long enough.’ She walked to the front of the stall. She shook the rain from off of her dark coat, having been out in the field with the others to graze.

“Now this mare here is a fine gal, she’d do well. I can guarantee she isn’t with foal either, we keep our mares separate from the stallions,” the man tried to sell a bay mare to Geralt when he noticed his focus on her. Geralt moved on. “Oh, careful, this stallion’s fit to fight anyone.”

‘Ignore the others, I’m right here and boy howdy do I have a bone to pick with you. What took so long?’ She snorted as they approached her stall. He gave her a cursory glance, nodded, and walked past.

‘Excuse me!’ She whinnied.

“Quiet, you! Sorry ‘bout that, he’s a mean one, don’t know why I even keep him.” She bared her teeth at the man.

Geralt grunted. “Do you have any chestnut mares?”

“Chestnut mares? No, don’t believe so, is it really so important?” The bearded man was puzzled.

“That’s what she usually chooses.” Geralt already looked like he was ready to continue searching elsewhere. Roach snorted.

“Oh, are you buying for a lady friend?”

“No. I don’t think I’ll be buying at all.” He glanced around the horses again. It was a large stable in some city. Many of the horses were just boarding, but a decent amount were for sale.

“Oh, well then, off with you,” The man huffed and shook his head.

Geralt began to leave. Roach knocked at the stall door. He paused. She stopped.

“Wait.” The bearded man turned to look at him. “Let me check something.”

He shouted across the stable, “Roach!”

Roach neighed and bucked and stomped. ‘Yes! I’m right here, you dimwitted donkey.’

He walked up to her stall. “Roach?”

‘Yeah?’ She stuck her nose out and pricked her ears up. He patted her head.

“How much for this one?” He called over his shoulder.

The man paused. “Oh, uh. I’ve never seen him so calm, uh, you can have a discount on that one. How ‘bout fifty pieces?”

‘’  
The rain had let up by the afternoon, though the sky was still cloudy. Geralt stopped her in a clearing just inside a forest. He dismounted and began setting up camp.  
“A stallion this time? That’s unusual for you, girl.” He removed the packs from her back.

‘Yeah, I know.’ She flicked her ears.

“And a liver chestnut. As many times as I can remember you’ve been a chestnut. You were a bay one time, but that was a while ago.” He took off her tack, leaving only her bridle.

‘Look I didn’t have many options on such short notice, okay?’ She snorted and flicked her tail. ‘No need to be judgemental when you’re the one who took two whole months.’

He leaned against a tree, looking at the gray clouds that were quickly darkening with night. “Sorry about the wait. I was saved from the worst of the fall by your body, but I still broke something. It took a bit to heal.” He rubbed at his leg. “I should have noticed the thing quicker. It got away, leaving me with a broken leg, a dead horse, and an unfulfilled contract.”

She sniffed at his leg. ‘Glad you’re alright now.’

She pushed her head against Geralt’s chest and he rubbed her neck. “Glad to have you back, Roach.”

‘’  
He sat on a damp log. It was dark and too wet to start a fire. The moon hung high in the sky, just visible through a patch in the clouds. “You know I still don’t quite understand how you come back every time. Different body, same horse.” He paused. “I think I’d quit being a Witcher if I didn’t have you. Don’t tell anybody I said that.”

‘Of course. Good horses are loyal. We take our people seriously, and you’re my rider for good now.’ She nickered into the dark. ‘Now go to sleep before I have to knock you out with my hooves.’

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm not entirely happy with this, but I don't think it's half bad either. It's meh, it's mellow, it's mine. ¯\\_(・-・)_/¯
> 
> Edit: Fixed spacing

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] Life sucks, then you die - TheNamesSid](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981338) by [LenaReads (LenaLawlipop)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenaLawlipop/pseuds/LenaReads)
  * [Life Sucks and then you die [podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24351409) by [litrapod (litra)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litrapod)




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